I Owed It To Myself

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I think one of the most liberating feelings is to look back and see how far you’ve come from a once toxic part of your life. Don’t get me wrong. I will always wish the best for you and try to see the best in you but a part of me needed to learn how to do this while being able to let you go. I can’t even count the amount of times I found myself crying over you, drunk texting you, or even having my mind being consumed with the mere thought of you. The pain of the heartache and not feeling good enough lingered with me longer than it should have. It broke me. I felt like I was taking ten steps back from all the progress I had made on my journey of finding self love but look at where I am now. I no longer feel the need to check up on your social media sites to see what you’re doing. Despite being intoxicated, I don’t find myself sending you sloppy texts just to see if I can get an answer from you. But most importantly, when I think about you I’m not burdened with the pain of a broken heart. Words can’t explain how empowering it is to know that I can overcome such a dark point in my life. I’ll always care about you but I owed it to myself to let it all go and it feels amazing knowing that eventually, I did.

you. not wanting me. was the beginning of me. wanting myself. thank you.

— The Hurt (Nayyirah Waheed)

Like I said. I will continue to wish you the best but from here on out, I will always give myself better.