A Turning Point

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I’ve always wanted to work in the medical field but when I realized that science wasn’t for me I decided to take on the hospital management career path. You probably could only imagine my excitement when I landed the internship of my dreams working for Kaiser Permanente’s HR department last summer. Their internship program was prestigious to say the least and even being accepted into it was an honor in itself. I was ensured a two year internship contract with a fortune 500 company with a possibility of full time employment upon graduation, I was paid very generously and the network of people was endless. I thought to myself wow, I’m set.

But this past spring break my whole world came crumbling down when my department told me they had to let me go due to a shift in management.

I was in shock.

I didn’t understand how this could happen to me. I put my heart and soul into my internship last summer — waking up at 5:30 every morning to go to work, excelling in the projects that were given to me, and putting myself out there with every KP Leader and employee I encountered. I did enough, more than enough. Yet, the company I dedicated my entire summer to let me go?

I was at a standstill. Just a few months ago I had my next two years set. Now I can’t even formulate a concrete plan for this summer. With the school year coming to a close and the summer quickly approaching, I spent my days pulling hair trying to make a decision about what to do. I contemplated about studying abroad, interning at other fortune 500 companies or start ups. I even considered waitressing.

Still, I couldn’t decide what to do.

Nothing felt right.

In the midst of my decision making Kaiser hit me with yet another curveball. They asked for me back. After all that I’ve been put through, they begged for me. Leaving voicemails and emails expressing how much another department needed my attributes this summer. I was so distraught and confused. It was hard enough that I was holding onto multiple options all at once but Kaiser deciding to get back in the ring just made everything more complicated. You’d think that with them giving me another chance I’d come to a realization with what I should do this summer, right? But I wasn’t.

I know what you’re thinking…

When a fortune 500 company who is also one of the leading corporations in health care insists on your return, how can you say no? I mean, who’s that dumb to decline such an offer?

Well, I did.

I spent a month dwelling over the situation but then I started finding myself interested in opportunities that weren’t health care related and doors started opening up for me. I soon realized that there’s so much more out there than an internship with KP Launch.

This was something I wanted so badly for such a long period of time but staying at KP would’ve been me playing it safe. This was something that I’ve always been so familiar with. I would have been ensured job security for this summer and beyond graduation. And as a bonus, I’d make my parents proud knowing that this was something stable. It was a good deal for me. Stable, dependable, and safe. If you asked me a year ago. Heck, if you asked me a month ago, I would’ve been content with this career path.

But here’s the thing.

All those things are great but why should I settle with just being content? What’s the point of investing in yourself if all you ever do in life is take the safest path?

I don’t know what it was but somewhere between Kaiser letting me go and them begging for me back I realized that I didn’t want to just settle and picking Kaiser was me settling. Yeah Kaiser would have given me a career that can financially please me but it wouldn’t have been able to give me any type of fulfillment. At least not right now.

I’m 21, barely finishing up my third year of college. I want to take risks. I want to experiment and find my calling(s) and staying at KP wouldn’t have allowed me to do any of this.

It’s funny because immediately after I declined the offer, the woman told me that by me not taking this internship, I’ll be putting myself at risk. I’m jeopardizing my future and by the time I graduate I’ll regret my decision. She tried so desperately to make me doubt myself in hopes that I’ll return back to Kaiser.

But what she doesn’t know is that I believe in myself.

I wholeheartedly believe in myself and me believing in myself is going to allow me to take risks and bet it all even when the odds are stacked against me. Even if the future seems unsure and opportunities seem slim. Whatever I decide to do, however I choose to get there, I’m going to make it. I may not know what I’ll be doing this summer. Interning? Going abroad? Whatever it is I choose to do I know it’ll be what I’m meant to do and I’ll be where I’m meant to be.

I’ve never been so unsure of the future but all I know is that I’m going tomake it and that’s all the reassurance I need.